The debate: Flow vs. Hustle. How to find the sweet spot.

Hey newbie boss babe,

As a new entrepreneur you may have noticed that there are two philosophies floating about how to approach the building of your business. The “flow > force” philosophy or the more traditional “hustle + grind” philosophy.

One says to never push and go with the flow, the other says things like “we all have the same 24 hours in day.”

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, let me explain. Watch the video below or keep reading.

The grind/hustle school of thought has been around for a long time so I won’t spend too much time going over it’s origins. I will say that what I have witnessed in my short life here on earth is that the grind and hustle mentality is based on an imbalanced masculine model of success. The divine masculine is gorgeous and well balanced. It sets clear goals while being intensely present. The rules of success our society has created based off of masculine qualities often gets it wrong, it distorts the masculine and creates a model that is based purely off of production. It says that if you’re not producing then you’re failing. What this model fails to recognize is that success is much more holistic and intricate, feeling and experience are as much a part of success as hitting every deadline and achieving for the sake of achieving.

Flow > force, from what I have gathered, birthed out of the new uprising of connection to our divine feminine.

The divine feminine is formless, energy, and connection to within.

I could go on and on about what both the divine feminine and divine masculine mean and how to utilize each energy for our businesses but we’ll save that for another day. Just know that the recent trend of goddess and mother have influenced the way we perceive our need to work and show up in our careers/business.

The flow > force school of thought also manifested out of a sheer need to rest after pushing ourselves well beyond our breaking points. The acceptance that flow is actually an efficient and effective method to approach our work boundaries comes from seeing firsthand what grinding day after day does to the human body and soul. We know that pushing ourselves to exhaustion is not sustainable long term, and success in business is a loooooong game. We need to be able to sustain the road ahead, we can’t burn out three years in when we’ve just gotten warmed up.

You probably know that I am majorly PRO FLOW. I’m just not into that grinding mentality. I don’t think it benefits anyone, least of all our businesses, when we push push push. Ugh, gross. Not my jam.

BUT…there is one caveat I want to point out about flow. I’ve seen this happen, it’s not the end of the world and there’s an easy fix to it (I’ll share my quick fix with you below), but it’s when our ego convinces us that we’re in “flow” to keep itself safe.

Our ego’s main goal is to ensure it’s survival and continuity. This means staying exactly the same and never changing because change is scary. The ego is cunning and quite convincing. Launching a business is messy, clunky, and downright terrifying. You may lose friends, you’ll be in unfamiliar territory, you may face backlash, you’re going to fail at some point and these things don’t sound fun at all to your little ol’ ego. 

Ego be like “girlfriend, we’re not doing jack. We’re staying here doing what we’ve always done because that’s safe and I like it that way.”

So it convinces you that you’re in flow. It uses the fear of accidentally pushing yourself too hard and getting comfortable in hustle and grind town to keep you from having to take chances and take action.

Here’s the catch about that sweet spot of flow. Sometimes we have to go to the extremes on both ends. We may have to go waaaay over into flow and find that we haven’t done anything but “flow” for 6 months and have nothing to show for it, that doesn’t help anyone. You have a big mission to help a lot of people so if you’re not actually building the pieces of your business then how can your business change lives if it doesn’t exist? It can’t, so you need to actually take action. Then you may go into grind mode for a little bit and maybe push yourself a little too hard. This might cause you to get sick or maybe you pull a muscle, something will happen to show you that you need to slow down. There are lessons to be learned by going too far in either direction.

Don’t let the fear of subscribing to the hustle mindset prevent you from pushing yourself to do uncomfortable things or taking messy awkward action.

That sweet spot of flow, when it’s not an excuse to stay small sometimes comes from knowing what it’s like to go in the opposite direction. I don’t want you to be so afraid of pushing yourself that you never take the messy inspired action necessary to grow your business. It’s okay if you sometimes spill out into grind and hustle territory. Your daily self care practice and intentionality will catch it if this goes on too long. The Big U (Universe) will also send you signs before you get into burn out territory.

Here’s your quick fix if you want to check in to see if your ego is using “flow” as an excuse to stay small: find 10 minutes of time to sit in a quiet comfortable thought. Then I want you to imagine who you want to be in 1, 5, or 10 years from now. The person who has accomplished everything you want to accomplish and embodies all that you want to embody. Then ask how them how they would be showing up today. If the answer is that your highest self would be taking lots of me time and doing quiet contemplation away from the world, then hey, keep doing it. But if your highest self answers and says they would be taking massive messy scary inspired action, then my love, you know what you need to do.

I’m here for you if you need guidance with that messy inspired action. Let me know how I can help.

With love and moxie,

Coach KB

BusinessKimberly Borges